Crab Mentality

Crab mentality describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs in which one tries to escape over the side, but is relentlessly pulled down by the others in the pot.

This term is broadly associated with short-sighted, non-constructive thinking rather than a unified, long-term, constructive mentality. It is also often used colloqially in reference to individuals or communities attempting to "escape" a so-called "underprivileged life", but kept from doing so by those others of the same community or nation attempting to ride upon their coat-tails or who simply resent their success.

Definition Source: Wikipedia.com
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I'm sorry I have to copy and paste some things here, I just want you guys to fully understand what the topic today is all about.

I was in college when I had a tiff with my older female cousin, I was 18 then and she was 34, I think. I overheard her saying this, "Next time Len's mom called, tell her she's pregnant!" It took me a sec to tick like a bomb! I confronted her right there and then, infront of my Aunt, (my mom's elder sister). In the middle of that chaotic argument (with a splash of yelling, name calling, bad-mouthing..etc, but no physical contact)I understood what she was trying to do. She was labelling me for the things I didn't do, discrediting me for all the good things I am trying to accomplish.

There I was, doing the best I can to reach my goals in life, while she was silently rooting me down from the very first day I step foot at their house. She never had the chance to finish her degree because she got pregnant at 19. She's pretty, she got an offer to be a commercial tv ads model before she got herself pregnant during her college days.

After a week of that storm, I moved-out and got myself an apartment. Now, little by little, we are trying to patch things up, its too heavy to hold grudges.

Now, history repeats itself. Its also happening to my youngest sister. She is a graduating BSN (Nursing degree) student. The person who is trying to pull her down is our Aunt (our father's little sister). Our Aunt got married while she was on her attachment period (in a random hospital picked by the university) during her college days.

Its really painful to think that the people whom you expected to be cheering for you are the ones hoping that someday you will go to hades.

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In different cultures

For Filipinos, crab mentality is the tendency to "outdo another at the other's expense"[1] or to "pull down those who strive to be better."An overzealous leader becomes morally shamed. It "became a call for community leaders to acknowledge indebtedness to others and to work for the good of the entire community and not just for themselves."

In Hawaii, it is known as the 'alamihi syndrome, an 'alamihi being a local black crab. Hawaiians are criticized behaving like 'alamihi, which "always manage to pull down the ones who are trying to climb up and over the sides of a bucket."[4] Similar analogies are used against natives in other areas, such as Maoris in New Zealand, coastal Indians in Canada and the United States, and Chamorros in Guam.

It has been suggested that African Americans have inherited a cultural crab mentality based on a "doomsday mentality," because in times of slavery and segregation it was difficult, if not impossible to for them to use education even after it had been acquired.

Article source: Wikipedia